There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his
congregation: "I have good news and bad news.
The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.
The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened
the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from all of the
"I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've blessed all
this stuff before."
Is There Baseball in Heaven?
Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their
early 90's, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to
visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long
friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a
favor. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven."
The dying man said, "We've been friends for years, this I'll do for you." And
then he dies. A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he
hears his friend's voice. The voice says, "I've got some good news and some
bad news. The good news is that there's baseball in heaven."
"What's the bad news?"
"The bad news is that you're pitching on Wednesday."
After the Christening
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little five-year-old
Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quite. Very softly he started to cry
until his father noticed him sobbing.
"What's wrong, little Johnny?" asked his father.
Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us
brought up in a Christian home, an-an-and I want to stay with YOU guys!"