Too Funny

Building Program

There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news.
The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

Blessing Leftovers
A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers.
"I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've blessed all this stuff before."

Is There Baseball in Heaven?

Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90's, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven."
The dying man said, "We've been friends for years, this I'll do for you." And then he dies. A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend's voice. The voice says, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there's baseball in heaven."
"What's the bad news?"
"The bad news is that you're pitching on Wednesday."

After the Christening
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little five-year-old Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quite. Very softly he started to cry until his father noticed him sobbing.
"What's wrong, little Johnny?" asked his father.
Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, an-an-and I want to stay with YOU guys!"
 

CG