TOO FUNNY

BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE &
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR !

A woman was down on her knees praying.  "Lord, Lord,
How much longer do I have to be down here on this Earth?"

An angel came to her and said, "Girl you better get off your knees.
The Lord said he needs you down here for 40 more years".

The lady thought and thought, "What am I going to do for 40 more
years?   I know!  If I'm going to be here for 40 more years, I'm going
to do it looking good."

The lady went to a plastic surgeon.  She told him, "I want everything
done that can possibly be done."  The surgeon did what she asked,
including breast implants, liposuction, and what-have-you.  Everything
that was humanly possible was done to this woman.  She came out
looking good!

The minute she got out on the sidewalk, a big truck lost control and
ran up on the sidewalk, & killed her.  The woman went to heaven,
& asked the Lord, "Hey!  Lord, what's the big idea?  The angel told
me you said I'd be on Earth 40 more years."

"I'm sorry!"  came a booming voice.
"I didn't recognize you."

"Morning Prayer"

 Dear LORD,

So Far Today I Am Doing All Right.
I Have Not Gossiped, Lost My Temper,
Been Greedy, Grumpy, Nasty, 
Selfish, Or Self Indulgent.

I Have Not Whined, Crumbled, Cursed,
Or Eaten Any Chocolate.
I Have Not Charged Anything 
On My Credit Card.

However, Dear LORD..
I Am Going To Get Out Of 
Bed In A Few Minutes,
And I Will Need A Lot 
More Help After That.....